Saturday, June 26, 2010 @ 10:06 PM
Initially, i didn't wanna blog. i was too tired to. im not emo, just being serious for once in a long time. i was acting like a fool, so now did i realise. how slow..to _____, i really like you, it may not be love. but if you are really the one for me, it will come eventually, but that will be near impossible.. the distance is just to far. i'm sure you'll find someone else that loves you more, someone that can shower that love on you, im just not the one even as it might seem. Love is something unexplainable. Im very sure youre tired of me too, i can just sense it.. i want you to be happy. i really do, im willing to sacrifice anything within my means to do that. i thank you so much for the love you've given me, maybe i was enjoying it too much, and now its time to let go. i'll cherish everything kept and locked up in my heart. I really like you, so much i couldn't differentiate it from love. I guess everyone will just have to be hurt a few times to really gain true love, but i doubt i'll have mine, i've been too possessive, i wanted you with me, and only me. i cannot stop this, i dont know why. But i know if we're gonna end up together one day, youre not going to be happy with me, just like what he did, youre gonna eventually leave me.. i dont want that day to come either, if love was to invite itself, then let nature take its course(: well for now, be happy. and although i know during this period im not going to be happy seeing you with other girls, i'll just bite it down and clench my fist and give you my best wishes. the girl who likes you alot, Julia.
(i dont even know whether you know its you, so when you read this, please ask me? i really want you to ask me.)
Friday, June 25, 2010 @ 9:17 PM
WOWWEE, i've blogged consistently for so long, AS REQUESTED:Dokay today i got myself enrolled in. aussie uniforms are SO COOL. you get to match your outfit with different things. and then the stoooopid woman HAH, got scolded by the mr nice principal who offered me a chair. LOL. serve her right. and my mum was so happy-.-
ps: james and i are both avoiding each other, joke. HAHA
AND MY MUM ACNOWLEDGE HIM AS MY BOYFRIEND OMG STOOOPID, and she had to rub it in by saying "eh wheres your boyfriend? home already?" i literally had the -.- face plus smoke emitting from my ears.(cut out the smoke part, thats just weird)
ohoh, there's this very cute road in aus called kissing point road LOL, is that where all couples kiss or something? and another called Spit road.. so you spit there? euw.
I DRANK SO MUCH COFFEE TODAY <3 MOCHA! twice. haha, and im still ever so sleepy.~.~
gonna attend church this sunday, wonder how it'll look like. Australia is such a holy place i tell you. Every street has at least 4 churches, imagine that!
(this has to stop fast, im going insane.)
I THINK MEN AND GUYS HAVE PWS. My dad has severe situation of that. ppftt
Thursday, June 24, 2010 @ 8:49 PM
wow i got so much to say. YES I DREAM AGAIN. HELLO WHOEVER WAS IN MY DREAM. i forgot.. need some push to remember.. hmmAnd i went to hospital. how scary.
not me.
so no worries^^
My dear little sister somehow had some funny out of the blue asthma attack and scared the whole house. i was snoozing so happily and there was like a bomb of commotion next door. (plus my stoopid dad who refused to hear my sister having funny music emitting off her(haha) ) oops.
then he slammed the chair. WTF is his problem.
okay. back to story. oh and fyi, it was at 12 and we reached home about 11 so guess what, we sent her to hospital in the wee hours and WOW I DIDNT SLEEP A WINK, hello panda eyes. really. i had eyebags. i knowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. ugly.
then it seemed like some drama cos i was trying out different ways to like sleep on a stupid heavy plastic chair and you cant move even a little because the chair would wake up a room of crying children and two homongous adults and one person(ME) to squeeze in the small alley next to the bed(N), bad idea.
I'm not sure what happened, i think i died and i couldn't feel myself until the very nice nurse(STACY) came. i pinkyswear i had a massive backache okay- im not young anymore. and it was made worst when we found out we had to stay there for like 4/5 hours. and the only thing i knew. we left at 6am. perfect. see the sun rise where i, looking like a crazy satanic vampire exited the hospital door looking for people to chew.-.-
the only thing that kept me going- my sister to be okay so she wouldnt give me another shock.
okay but someone had to compensate for my backache thus, i made her massage me. HARHAR oops. teehee. but really, all she did was a few karate chop and thats all =.= FAIL.
okay talk no more about thiss stupid situation.
IM GOING TO ENROLL TO SCHOOL TOMORROW. i hope they bloody accept our documents this time, or we're punching that woman, no qualms.>:{
ps: i like flooding people's wall and i like people flooding my wall. its fun! (Y) HAHA. JIAAN i counted. 23. so maybe a few hundred more to go :D
see how much i love you<3
and yesterday night was real agony. i wont hide that. but i guess that was better. just hurt me and the vital points, you scored. bulls eye. you'll just never understand what i've been through, you have nerves to say it was some unappreciative fuck. youre lucky its me, the oh so awesome julia who can only remember the good times, i chose to forget those bad ones, i decided to let you keep your stupid pride. youre a real asshole. you just dont know. dont say sorry, cos youre not.
after all you have done.
and you say that in my face.
you hurt my heart
and toss it aside.
i guess thats all i mean.
but really, dont come crawling back to me saying sorry after what you have done. it was the ultimate betrayal a girl can ever and will receive. those tears werent worth it. im just so sick and tired of you. your name is an eyesore
Wednesday, June 23, 2010 @ 11:38 PM
one last time,the last few drops of tears im ever gonna shed for you.
really i had enough.
you broke your promise to me for something else.
please dont break it again.
and if you do it just proves one thing, youre a fucking bastard.
whatever sweet things youve done, that'll be past.
and if you do it to her, i fucking dont wanna know.
so seal up this love,
it probably should have died earlier.
then i wouldnt have to sit through it and waste so much energy.
i still do, but youve given guys a bad reputation.
im not going to care, i dont wanna.
last chances last chances,
dont give excuses.
im sick and tired of them.
thats it. i say no more, for what is done is done and time cannot be retracked.
Monday, June 21, 2010 @ 10:13 AM
140th post:DI always wanted to write this but i kept forgetting>:{ GUESS WHAT, i met the sungmin lookalike person again!(::::: we were viewing this apartment and he just went through the door. awwww. pleasant surprise(; he has jonghyun's personality! :DDD plus point! he got this younger brother and he kept taking care of him, so sweet. so he'll go bobo bobo! then they would kiss HAHA.
-
alrightt, got my head mad from koreans. My mum got furious at me for that LOL. and she kept telling me to hang out with the ang mohs here. i bet when im older, she'd matchmake me with blond hair people-.- seriously. come away mum! so i told her i wouldnt mind too just to get her mouth shut. oopS:P
i met nice aussies too(: basketball player (Y)
they are so tall like wow. a walking tower.
i dont know how to say no to someone who loves me that much,
someone that i only take as a brother.
and that someone that takes me as his everything.
im such an asshole.
sorry about it.
but on the other hand,
im afraid of losing you.
what the hell is my problem.
someone tell me the definition of love.
ohoh and my weird dreams. they just keep coming..
first, i dreamt of elvin ng, he was a security guard by day and a executive by night? SPLIT PERSONALITY MUCH, and when he was a security guard, he was so sweet than at night he was a tyrant. funny.
my most recent dream the day before, JIAAN I DREAMT OF YOU. okay i guess i read too much about the evil thing called pasung on newspaper.(ps; go find that out if you dont know) they are humans too okay. so get your brain right first before trying to help others you bastards, they're mentally unsound, what can you expect?! okok right back, but my dream was weird. cos it was at an arcade, and then jiaan was there too and there was this table and then a group of children were there and we were like teaching them? after that they went off somewhere and then jiaan and i started stealing arcade sweets LOL?! and there was somehow like a person in charge who was our friend (i was trying to fit his face with the people i knew and it looks like xj?! WTH!) and then we were acting retarded and were like hiding the sweets in sofas.. in the arcade..? ALRIGHT GTG BYE! LOVE YOU ALL(L)
ps: i dreamt of aiden tooHEHEHEHHEEHEHE
Friday, June 18, 2010 @ 1:23 PM
okay, finally i get to touch the comp longer;)firstly, i thank god for letting me blog HAHA and of course for the past few days. God bless the stupid woman who our family wanted to box, the little kids we saw, the weather(please make it warmer cos im so sstiff), and lastly, god bless our school's choir who went to russia for competition esp the two ladies;)- you know who you are. once a st nicks girl, always a st nicks girl:D
Alrighties, its gonna be one week in about a few hours. We found a house, almost got a car, and things i guess.. are looking positive(: in one way or another.
and...... im going to a co-ed school. hello aussie boys.
O.M.G i was telling clar how hot the koreans here are. i saw one who looked a little like sungmin(L) aww.. and his bro was taking the english test with me, poor guy... he wrote the whole essay wrongly and had to redo.. could see the frustration in his expression when the korean woman translated to him he did it wrongly. mine was, thank you singapore, "superb" as she quoted.;)
actually i was writing crap. LOL. some lame title "why it is important to learn english when a person comes to live in Australia" and i added in my own personal opinions because i had nothing else to write, honestly, if i were to give such a piece to my english teacher in singapore, she'd give me a tight slap in the face till i nosebleed and die.
SOME QUICK TAGBOARD REPLIES!~
From (14 june)
ALISON dear-haha of course i'll blog. i wont let the awesomest blog on earth die out HAHA. jokingg yours is too:D continue to update yours too!
JIAAN-HAHA of course. i remembered everything you taught me darlin! pleasee go update your blog. i have no idea what a tumblr is but yea. im so honoured to be in your posts!:D (L) koreans are hot here. kik
16 june- usually in the night, sometimes in the afternoons:D
YUCIJGS- here i am updating babe!
CLARISSA DEN DEN DEN DEN- you dont have to be jealous baby, im meeting you here in a few years eh?;)
seanie boy- australia is COOLER than you:D literally LOL.
my liklik- okay! youre welcomed darling! (L) hahaha im using prepaid): cant call out!>.<
----------------------------------------------------------------------
james, really. stop it! youre getting on my nerves you ang moh kia.
ps: James' blanket smells so much like clarissa. weird. so i love it alot. hahaha.
pss: KOREANS ARE HOT PHEWW.
psss: its 10 after editing this post. tired and im off to bed for the battle tomorrow..
pssss: isabelle, i havent change my blogger password. its only for you exclusive! so you can log in and type nonsense, see, i trust you.
Wednesday, June 16, 2010 @ 6:45 PM
Julia is back by popular demands;)JAMES YOU ARE SO ANNOYING. >:{
man. this young little boy just wouldnt let a old woman rest huh.
~
hey you all! i missed you guys!
its so cold here): and i stink so bad cos i havent bathed in a million years(just kidding!)
i just shiveredddddd woooo. instant boom!
How are you guys? i seem really inactive huh hahaha. well, australia is i dont really wanna say it but.. AWESOME. i mean YOU DONT HAVE TO PAY FOR PARKING. WTH?
that leads to another, singapore is really. money minded. the people here are so cool. like they end work at 5?! so they have plenty of fun as well as work. Singaporeans, really. learn that;)
wont it be cool? School starts at 9! though it ends at 3/4 but i'd rather have that kind of schedule. awesome. alrighties. dinner's here. its seven so.. its only 5 there?): chat with me when i go online!:D love you all, julia
Friday, June 11, 2010 @ 2:43 AM
Sometimes i think im a fool to have liked you so much, now, afterall, i see youre a jerk. good luck with that new name. it fits you so well.(:Omg. today was awesome. though i must admit the later part sucked like shit.
CLARISSA, WEILIN, YUSEE AND ME-
i had so much fun today especially at the water playground. it was awesome because its kinda like my first time when im much older (i had one when i was like 4?!) Anyway, this two young little boys kept collecting water and splash it on us, so being nice jie jie men, we went ahead and played along, then slowly, (or in a matter of half an hour) we were drenched head to toe, flesh to bone. And yusee even said "aiya. im so wet i dont care anymore la" as soon as she said that the young boy took his palstic cup filled with water and aimed. nice aiming you got there ,kid.
And before that we were so afraid of the old menacing looking indian security woman who kept glaring at us making sure we were behaving ourselves, but heck! girls just wanna have fun!:D
omg the boy(EUGENE) is soooo cute. and there's this other one who would scoop as much water as he could into his palms and somehow always run and splash towards me -.- LOL. after running and chasing with somewhat like some cat and mouse game, we all let down our hair and admitted we were getting old just after running like what? one round? HAHA.
ohohoh the funny thing was that we each stood under a stand with hanging tubs. when a tub is filled, it would overturn and the water will splash on you. so we each chose ours. and guess what, when yusee said something about her not getting wet. the tub OVERTURNED. aint it so LOL?
And like we kept bullying weilin harharhar sorry! i kept insisting to xiaoEugene (:P) that im his best friend/girlfriend and he must attack the person in white (weilin) HAHAHA and he was searching the area for the white human and once he did he ran like a penguin. HOW CUTE! OMGOMGOMG i want a son like that HAHA. chuwa!
<3
The other small human, i have no idea whats his name.
But xiaoEugene's pants kept dropping! >:{ exposing himself. so being a nice jiejie, i intructed him to pull up his pants, hahaha clarissa! i swore you laughed out loud. (he was so embarrassed:P)
And oh! before that we went to cineleisure to watch karate kid. it was so touching.. its like teaching you the morals in life through the art of kung foo. And i was crying laughing crrying laughing smiling cry some more. -.-
Though i know im not the worst:P with someone behind actually clapping cos he won the tournament. im like "hello? we're in the cinema dude."
i wanna watch it again though.(: jaden s!! you got abs! how old are you man! 12?
[ps; you got an awesome name, its the same pronunciation as jaiden<3<3<3]
:D
And later part of the day was quite emo. i just kept crying. so all in all, ive wasted buckets of tears on people i shouldnt be crying on. (the idiot) but it was my mum, So i kinda looked like i was filming in some super sad drama when like someone dies and the person just keeps playing a sad song on the piano with endless streams of tears flowing down the cheeks. yup, that was me, just that no one died- obviously. but i was thinking about my stupid life and how much i regret not doing stuff i longed wanted to do..
i was praying to god to ask him to let my mum chill before i explode. so while she was like torturing me, i was silently absorbing and talking only when absolutely necessary. i shall go upload the photos on facebook now, but its being a bitch.(quoted jiaan)
tired ttm.
pss; dear j--k you could at least reply the last sms im ever gonna ever sent you in the whole entire years of my life. and yours.
OH! something i must add on cos i suddenly remembered, after the movie, the four urgent people(us) rushed to the toilet then coincidentally, on the corridor, there was this guy walking out and i kept avoiding his path and he kept avoiding mine, but when i tried the three people just keeps zooming past then i was kinda immobilised yet i just kept jumping from side to side and so did he. LOL. it was such a funny sight. man. we were like rabbits communicating. in the end, -.- both of us laughed. wow how embarrassing!
Thank you all of you for making my day, i wouldnt mind crying more in fact for this outing. [for all my other friends]meeting you all was a blessing. it was a gift from god and i need to learn to appreciate it more every passing day (wait theres only tmr) but as times pasts, i hope you each learn to be stronger and braver, confident people with determined hearts and mind. i know you all can do it. and i know you all want me too. So i shall try my best when im there just like (dre parker) in the show did. [haha during the movie i told yusee, the boy is moving from a ang moh country to an asian country and im doing the opposite, funny.] round it off, when im back, or if i cant, when im seventeen and able to do things without the need of permission from my parents, i will meet you all pretty faces again. im sure we can. its whether we want to try or not(: psss; MY MUM STILL CONTACTS HER PRI 1 FRIENDS?! so im sure i can do it too. hwaiting everyone!
Wednesday, June 9, 2010 @ 3:47 PM
Its my 136 post.And im going to write about you again.
I guess it pretty much over now.
Three days with or without you wont make the feelings come back, i hope so.
I really find it a burden now that i think of it.
Oh well i thank you so much for your last present baby
i loved you so obsessively.
Its time to let go eh,
it doesnt make a difference now anyway.
The promise, please take it back.
I don't need it.
And i don't want to waste your time..
I don't even get jealous anymore.
I don't even find it weird when youre not online.
i should be happy right right right?
:D
okay. thank you for being harsh on me.
~~~~~~~~~~
Im so tired>:{
i keep dreaming everytime i drift off to sleep.
I just can't stop.
And the worst thing is.
Its always about me getting chased by something with the intention of killing me
omg scary):
three days. three days. three days.
its time to pac my stuff again...
keep tripping over all those boxes around my house.
depressing
Tuesday, June 8, 2010 @ 11:12 PM
Sometimes, humans have to learn reality the harsh way.And i had to.
Money, it makes the world go round. And round and round.
Nothing works without money.
You might say love is free.
I use to say that.
It really isnt.
Reality is harsh.
Too harsh for the innocent people to live in.
I don't have to roll out bombastic words to let the world know.
So maybe i'll keep things simple.
Simplicity.
We cheat, we lie. And the more we do that, the further we stray from god. I've been acting as a rebellious kid today. Sorry lord, this house is depressing. i needed air. What's the point of staying here only to see everything that had a memory to be boxed up and ready to be shipped and bound to a foreign land i shall call 'home'.
Why should i stay to see my parents, wait. i don't even see them. And when i do, it doesn't last more than two hours, their kept busy in their own world. I can't really blame them though, just like me, they have their friends to spent time with. So, if thats the case, why don't you let me spent time with mine. Why stress this already stressed out emotionally kid to do her homework and face the books. Seriously, what are holidays for? Some might think its the time to catch up with studies while others think its time to slack. Well for me, i shan't be biase and say what i really feel. But to me, holidays are a time to get closer, a time to get better, a time to gain more knowledge, a time for love, a time for friendship, a time for prayer, a time for everything we had wanted to always do. Why wait for the last moment to do the things we have all wanted to do? Now i do regret. I regret not treating my friends better, i regret getting mad at my parents, i regret getting annoyed at my aunty. i regret not saying i love you more.
if you think i don't wanna talk to you, its not true alright.. i just feel like shutting myself from the world and just concentrate on one person at one time, its hard to multitask, and its bad to lie "i miss you too" when youre having fun with your other friend. lol, thats just bullshit.
haha, i guess its one of those days where i get into a deep thought. im not emo ok!
And sorry to these people : Clarissa, Isabelle(!), Chiamsy, mffmff:/
Clarissa, sorry if you think im pissed at you, but i wasnt feeling too good nowadays. So i will contact you tonight, promise about tomorrow. Hmm i cant make a longer dedication. But yea. cheer up too yes? When people's happy around me, im happy. So my aim long ago, was to make people happy(: About my D_ _ thing... really youre the only one to know. so please. Don't let it out. I know its hard.. but just promise me that yea? So if you do tell anyone. i guess im reliable for it.. So, dont make me feel bad. harhar.. i love you.
Isabelle: sorry about the call you back thing... :/ i feel very bad. but i know if i do, i will hurt you again. so i better not. i can't multitask. And when only i'm extremely free and easy, ( not trying to imply anything here, trying to say when i can focus on something..) i will call you. And we will chat like before. one hour two hour? time flies when we talk. lol. i love you too(friends) later your dad arh. walau>:{ i will never forget. but its ok, its fun being mistaken with you hahahaha.
Yo bieber chiam! Did i make you anxious today? harhar, duibuqi. i was too absorbed in my show and i was charging my phone. So i'll pay back those 9 messages spammed(: one day. im spamming you 18. (my favourite number(: ) that shows how much i love you! haha, and remember! *does zipping action* i trust you(: even if you wanna say, say it when im gone haha, then no one can find me. Today was fun eh? two hours at bugis.. hmm..
.Weilin! :sorry sorry if you think i cheated you and went out with someone else, i want to watch karate kid with you.. ;/ and plus, its a outing cum 3 people 'clsss' reunion? haha, oh well:/ sorry im so sucky
i can hardly pick up my phone press the password and click messages where like usually 4/5 messages are being sent everyday.. sorry peepo, i lost my interest to type. But thankfully, i still blog. blogging keeps me alife!:D (though the mere thought of everyone knowing everything is scary) oh well..
hello this is my life. and its imperfect, i dont expect anyone, even me, to like it. Life doesnt give everything we want. Life is selfish, just like how we humans are made. No one is perfect, and no one is flawless. But loving someone flawless sucks too right!(imagine knowing that person can do everything you cant) So, love someone for their flaws. And love THEM for having flaws. :D
Peace out, and chill out(: byebye and goodnight everyone! (i sound like a reporter) O: haha
Monday, June 7, 2010 @ 11:45 PM
Dear parents, time have changed. its time to adopt the new way of handling your children.What do you get out of scoldings?
Yes maybe some people who are forever obedient to their parents would listen and change.
But we are modern people with a new way of thinking.
Parents, why can't you see?
Sometimes, you guys are the people that are behaving childishly.
CLASS P-A-R-T-Y!!
Saturday, June 5, 2010 @ 1:12 AM
Woots~ the class party was so fun! sorry for only blogging about it now, so much has happened, i need to digest all these first. so im the deodenum, come on my darlin ileum, help me digest all these fast! HARHAR. I figured i needed to lighten my blog abit, so imma write a happy post right now. don't find it odd that i type so funnily. i feel not me right now, im wearing a mask temporarily to avoid all the sadness. Sorry to whoever that feels sad cause of me, especially Brainah(hahahaha), thank you for everything. ignore those posts before this one. Because from now onwards, im going to make a wise decision and continue with my life. My normal life, where studying revolves around me. HARHAR. Being lame. Life doesnt revolve around studies, does it? In my life, it revolves around God, Family, TRUE FRIENDS WHO CARE, and last but not least, my darling Aiden! Back to the awesome class party!! Woke up, blahhh..... went to MRT to meet Brainah. Bought some tidbits from NTUC then we took the train to YCK, then took 265 to Horizon Gardens. We arrived at like 2.10pm? We were the last to reach. Haha. Once we met up with the whole class, a group of them carried isabelle and threw her into the pool. Uhoh. *gulps. Am I next... (P.S sorry Brainah for laughing at you! you looked so hilarious thought! i have to admit) next thing i knew, i was forced into the pool to suffer the same fate as isaisa. UH-OH we didn't bring any spare clothes! DIE! ARGH! Isabelle did a headcount... Wow! Everyone came for the party except 3 people! Amazing! The turnout was so high! The rest of the time we practically spent at the pool camwhoring, playing and fooling around happily, almost forgetting the time. We finally had enough fun and headed for the function room downstairs, dripping wet. we so regretted not bringing clothes. we had to do some obscene stuff to dry our clothes in the toilet.Next, we just laughed, talked, took pics, laughed, ate, went to cheers to get stuff. And back again. When we came back, they all lured me away. I kinda knew what was going on.... After all the anticipation, i finally was led back to the function room only to find that everyone was surrounding the table and staring at me. TADAAA surpriseeee! its a mega huge cake, with ' farewell Julia' on it. AWWW. I was too shocked to say anything. Seriously, at that moment, all that came into my mind was a blank piece of paper. Anyway thanks 2grace for everything! I still cant explain how much i love y'all!!! But my expression changed when sarah smashed that cake into my hair! of all places, my beloved, nice smelling hair! just because i covered my face =/ thanks.... really.... when i thought it was all over, she had to smash another piece onto my face this time. smack right in the middle of my face. Sorry if I screamed too loud! Ahaha it was really too sudden. my eyes were screaming in pain for awhile till i washed it off... that moment was unforgettable. my first CAKE SMASH. like WOW. thanks 2grace for that awesome(and scary) surprise!
after that, we just kept eating and eating till we were stuffed pigs. i gave out the yummy wang wangs i bought to the little children and they were delighted! haha. i got some really nicee cards from my awesome apple <3>
went home with isaisa! That 7 hours was well spent. But these 7 hours will be forever and eternally remembered by me, no matter which part of the world i am in, i will forever thank you all for this 7 hours that you spent together with me, 2grace2010 wan sui! thanks for the memories(especially cake smash part). the next semester, I may not be with you all physically, but i will support and cheer you all on spiritually. HWAITING! i love you all once again!
Labels: Class Partayy ♥
Friday, June 4, 2010 @ 2:07 PM
I TOLD YOU NOT TO MESS WITH ME.DIDN'T YOUR MOTHER TELL YOU NOT TO PLAY WITH FIRE?
WELL, YOU GOT YOURSELF BURN.
HAVE FUN.
YOU PUSHED ME TO THE LIMIT. YOU BLAME YOURSELF.
I KEEP PRESSING THE RESTART BUTTON.
AND YOU UNDO IT HUH.
OK, THEN ITS GAME OVER.
ps: you don't have to test me. since you wanted to end it all, shouldn't i give it to you and bless myself with holy water. Yesterday was a fake too.
YOU(THE JERK) :
IF I EVER FIND OUT YOURE IN CAHOOT WITH THE ABOVE. IM NEVER EVER GIVING YOU A CHANCE ANYMORE. YOU CAN FORGET ABOUT ME, I DON CARE. YOU MADE ME WHAT I AM NOW, YOU TOLD ME IT WAS OKAY. SO I GUESS THIS IS OKAY FOR YOU TOO? YOU CAN GO BREAK DOWN FOR ALL I CARE. YOU DONT MEAN MUCH TO ME ANYMORE AFTER SMASHING THAT LAST HOPE I HAD IN YOU IN THAT PANDORA'S BOX. thank you too, for releasing that guilt, the hate, the deception in the box. i dont wanna bottle it up anymore. you were so nice. wait, was it an act? oh, i believed you. youre the best liar in the world.
@ 1:17 PM
Today, i shall not be polite because i figured you aren't to me too. Watch out.-
I shall change what i wrote in the letter for you. You're not worth going near my friends or even worth to stand next to me. You're a disgrace, a shame to mankind.
What is by right the people with a definite higher status to look down on you, you're being such a stupid thick-skinned idiot to think those people would kneel down earnestly and beg for your forgiveness? Dude, open your eyes and face reality. All these while, you've been downgrading yourself to this state.
You, shall not get close to me. -ever anymore.
Quenchana. Who are you to make me get angry over you anymore, get hurt, get annoyed, get frustrated. that day was supposedly the last day i was to ever interact with you again. But i broke my own promise to myself because you seemed so alone. so alone to the fact i felt i had to help you pick yourself up. And now whats happening? Oh, someone's biting the finger that fed it. Great. im the fool.
Stop it will you? You have NO LIFE. Your friends around you are fake. They, just like you. backstab you, calling you a ********* or even worst things you might never want to know. You're so naive, so was i, until i met you.
My mum used to tell me, friends are forever. I readily agreed because my friends seemed so true to me. I trust they wouldn't hurt me. Hurt. Hah, what a joke. You, on the other hand, made me the fool, but i should thank you right? You made me see that life is LIKE THAT. Even your close friends can backstab you and ------ behind your back. Thank. You. So. Much.
I told you i wouldnt be polite. So if you cry, its not my fault. You make people account to your tears. What about mine? You shove it off as if its li suo dang ren de shi. Dude, where's your moral values?
To the dude's sidekick, i pity you. You've got an AWESOME friend who so nicely backstabs you as well. Ain't it fun? backstabbing each other? yea i guess so, but sorry. i quit the game. Because i'm not like you two, who hardly feel any pain, and even if you two did, you'll just scold back more aggressively. So, tell me, when does this game of yours end? this is childish.
I don't regret standing up for you. But then in turn, got scolded back because of you, got beaten up, got ostracized even by my family. It makes me think who are you to turn me into this mess?
And after all these, you're still torturing me for more. I surrender. Are you satisfied? Sure hope you do.
People hate me because of you. I don't tell you because i don't want to hurt you. And you scold me because i don't show you the truth. Seriously, what do you want from me? Since you want the truth, here's one to you. You're shallow. You never forsee what would happened did you, well, surprise!
You are a selfish _____ who only thinks no one but yourself, you think you know so much about me huh, try again, or else, you can just blindfold yourself and jump off a building and still think youre flying. Someone like you, can be so lethal.. Well, firstly, you can go corrode yourself.
This is my last present to you before i leave.
I
JULIA.(your scapegoat)
REPLIES AND SHOUTOUTS TO MY LOVES.
Clarissa: i wanted to sms you last night about the dream pact, but i was afraid you were asleep, so.. (: you gave me the strength to write this to that ___________ thank you! I wanna go out with you someday. hurry! pick pick.
Alison: YEA YEA! i'll see you later;)
Sandra: Help me thank your dad again, he's so awesome! :D :D ;D And thank you too for making this a dream come true for me. <3>
Isabelle: you'll still help me blog about the class party eh?;)
FINGER FRIES SIR: wo yao zui gan xie ni, yin wei ni yi zhi zai wo shen bian pei ban zhe wo zou guo zhe tiao ou tu de lu, ee. moooshie. :/