Friday, April 30, 2010 @ 10:24 PM
You are remembered by millions,You touched billions,
You listened to everyone's trouble.
You understood them.
You gave them the courage to go on.
You gave them support to carry on.
You held my hand,
You told me it was okay.
You gave me strength.
And now, youre gone. Youre gone to somewhere high up above. Youre somewhere in heaven, looking down at us. Telling us youre fine, telling us how much you missed us and yet, you tell us not to cry.
I could vividly remember the time when i was young, i loathed vegetables so much, You told me i have to eat it, it would make me pretty. It was nothing, maybe, to me, your words meant so much. I remembered, on my birthday, you passed me a red packet, inside was $10. Your savings. Something you have willing to fork up for me, something you could have used the note on something you liked. I could feel the gentle touch of your hands, asking me how was school, patting my little hands softly, it was nothing, nothing compared to what you have done for your naughty nephew, nothing compared to the mental support you gave everyone. How you have bucked yourself up to force a smile when youre lying on bed, day by day, becoming so frail i would have never knew. Chemo made your jet black hair turn white overnight. And what i most regret, was to see you on your last, was that i never seen you when you were in the hospital, fighting for your life. I prayed, every possible time. It was the usual 'i wish kimpo would get well soon, get up on her feet, and be well again like before. she's gone through once, let her pass this time too' Then, i have no idea why, probably i couldnt stand to see you suffer anymore, ive changed my prayer. I told jesus to let you go if its going to end your suffering once and for all, if all it takes is to slip into heaven and end what shes been going through, i'd gladly accept, and our family shall grieve but not mourn till eternity because we know youre someone out there looking after us, protecting us with your leathery hands, your precious hands, with obvious green veins, those warm touch i missed, those times you asked me hows school, telling me to keep going. When i was in pain, the look on your face, those concerned eyes. It startled me. It startled me that for now, youre somewhere else, somewhere happy and carefree, somewhere free of pain and suffering, somewhere closer to jesus. On the paper i drew, the little black silhouettes, they could be the people missing you right now, they could be the people you have deeply impacted in their lives, they, however could be the people you loved so much. These people i have drawn on the paper, though i know you cant see it, i know somewhere out there, you can, you can feel it. Then gently pat me on the hand again and tell me that everythings going to be okay. You live in us.
R.I.P Kimpo
In loving memory of you.
passed away peacefully on 30 april
Forever remembered and treasured.
Julia
Labels: Kimpo
Friday, April 23, 2010 @ 9:34 PM
Man, today was pretty weird. Started the day of with some guy fainting in the train which cos a major delay for about 20 minutes.. the guy just like FELL FLAT on the floor, freaky or what.Then in school, i was sad during math because Mrs Cheung said i didnt do well for math. i knew it. i barely studied. how much i regret. eeks.. :/ trying hard to not make this post emo again. Life without colours is boring. And i hate TO(M)ilet. youre an effhole. a shithole, and an asshole.
So mama wanted to bring me to the hairdressers tonight. i got this feeling shes going to lie about it again. i really want a hair cut. AWAY FROM THIS LONG FRINGE WHICH IS STARTING TO ANNOY ME. It goes, "HEY JULIA! HEY JULIA! HEY JULIA! CHECK OUT HOW LONG I AM." PROFLMAO. im in lame mood. But that pisshole had to annoy me and dampen my freaking mood. So, im going to scream here, hey boy, you freakitch, get out of my life. Though you dont mean much to me. Comments hurt even if youre nothing but a speck of dust. flush you down the toilet bowl , you jerkhead.
Labels: p.i.s.s.h.o.l.e
Thursday, April 22, 2010 @ 10:32 PM
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HELLO BABY IS SOOOOOOOOO CUTE. I CANT STAND IT! OOMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGEEEEEEEEEEEE, IM GOING TO DIE. ITS TOO CUTE. CUTENESS OVERLOAD! AND WE'VE PATCHED UP, IM SO HAPPY WHEN YOU CALLED I ALMOST CRIED FROM JOY. OKAY. BACK TO SHOW. EEEEEKKKSS! AAHAAOEFH WIRUGBIAEGRBPQIEBG JIQNDFKVNQIEUG4IWRBG KQSJBV ERGWednesday, April 21, 2010 @ 9:55 PM
why has my life turned so ugly these few weeks. i kind of missed those days. where there are only one person in my life. my friend. could be anyone. but at least i know. im focusing all my energy on one person. i know i wont let her down. now, its gettin messed up. what in the world is the definition of friendship? i was a loner.Tuesday, April 20, 2010 @ 12:22 AM
Its 10.30, supposedly in bed, but heck. I felt that i have to blog. i have to. its an urge. i need to let out my feelings or not im about to go insane, so here i am, back online.So many things happened these few weeks, tests, graded assignments, even unnecessary stress given by my peers. Trying to be optimistic, but it seems like its not working, must be one of my off-days today, i havent really put much effort into studying. i didnt have the mood. i was low and moody. This week, however, seemed much busier than last week. Ironically. Ting xie and spelling is driving me up the wall, with me having to stay back everyday, math is a monster and everything is just not going too well for me. i wish i could cry. the bitter, probably would be gone. maybe a pinch but i know i cant. its too hard. too hard to even shed a tear. everything is a challenge.
Who knows, if im suffering so much here, how am i to survive when im there? how am i to tell myself it would be okay and smile as if nothing had affected me in the first place? How am i to brave myself for more disappointments and digress? Everyone is looking me up as an epitome, but honestly, im most not suitable to be one, i know it.
My life is terrible, much to an extent i have to fake a smile during times. Happy-go-lucky, cheerful, full of smiles, thats all bullcrap for you have not seen my true self.
Why have ---- been such troubles to me? one after another never ending shit i must endure. I seriosuly do not have the capacity to maintain my image and god knows one day i might just scream and run out of class. i want to be free. to be free of troubles, to live life the fullest, is there even such a person alive? And now whats happening? we're stuck in a mixture of love and like we cannot diffrentiate, hold on, isnt this all only about you? What you have been doing from the start was to keep dragging me into your problems, do i honestly look like im so free to handle your troubles when i cant even solve mine? Why is it that somehow you are the one manipulating and controlling my actions, is this what friends are for? There always has to be someone there to guide, why cant there be equality? why cant friends have the same status in each one of our hearts? Why cant you see? you see.
Am i your doll? your puppet? or your pet? Am i what you think i am, someone easily satiable, youre constantly only thinking about yourself, so where have i, this good friend of yours come into the picture? Everything was you, you and you. When have you all ever spared a thought for me? For what you think might not hurt me has actually slashed me right within.
jae- sometimes youre so unreadable, and youre unwilling to tell me how you feel, although i know it, its too intimidating for me to ask you. I know i love you i know you love me. I know its never ever going to be. And different people keeps drifting us apart, repelling us away from each other. it doesnt give me a sense of security. I know im not perfect either, i dont ask for more. But sometimes, i wish you knew how i was feeling for you to at least do abit to make it seem better. You ask me whats wrong? I wish i could say that it was you. but thinking about how you would be feeling, i darent.
Friday, April 16, 2010 @ 11:23 PM
Now, i just wish i could tell the world how much i love you! (:Isabelle Nina Chen
My Brainah
My dearest dearest other half brain, i love you so much because you make my IQ and EQ so completee HAHAHAHAHA(: continue bring YOURSELF. To Be myself! :D and im sorry today, you seemed so left out, so even though we were so close, all i could do was to text you. and remember, im a call away. always. forever. promise. okok, brightening things up, dont worry about er.. her alright, i dont think she is gonna scold you la. really. im so sorry i made these all happen. you dont deserve sadness. And im always siding you, plus, like what i told you that day. im p_________ over you. (: hahahaha, call me if you dont get what it means. and things are always bound to look better, for each of my friends, i give them a quote for them to remember, clarissa has one with her(: RIGHT CLAR?! :D my number one stalker. love you too! back to point. i guess yours would be... Continue the smile till you find the light, everything is an opportunity! nah, nonsense LOL okayy stay happy and healthy! love you!
my jojoelel mwangogo HAHA. you lametoot.
And thats it, im not going to write anymore. getting the fatique from all the home ed shitz. so freaking sad i didnt get to go cca today. no one can ever imagine!
Tuesday, April 6, 2010 @ 10:10 PM
woohoo. i just came back from science centre. pretty fun, okay.. at least better than dead science in classroom.(: and joel is sooooooo gross eeeee! and then after that was soooo funny. we were on the way home- isabelle, yusee, christabella and denise. we boarded the train and could barely squeeze in! And like practically all the way to their station, they were S.I.N.G.I.N.G?! LOUDLY. i tell you. LOUD. im was soooo embarrassed. REALLY. i had to cover my face with my textbook. justin bieber mad. jeez! IT WAS SOSOSOSOSOSOSO EMBARRASSING. i cant express how embarrassed i was. everyone heard it. it was so loud and obvious. even the aunties who got the 'i don care' look turned around to hear where the choir came from. no, it was more of a cacophony of noises. gawk! and when isabelle and i alighted, one of the guys infront was like. "BYE! BYE!"And OMGEE, THERES ART TMRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR<3 (:
and finally, i got married today at science centre. in my stunning white lab coat with emboidered words' science centre'. With my really rubbery white gloves. i was ready to accept my amanda to my life. PROFLMAO!
Since i got nothing better to write i shall list down all the people that has a nickname named by me!
ISABELLE THE CHINNY NINNY.
RACHEL THE APPLEEE
JIAAN THE APPLE PIE/ LOVER AND FOLLOWER OF JB
ALISON THE CUTIE
ALVIN THE ALVINA
AMANDA THE ZACHARY
EVANGELINE THE POTATO
JOPHELIA MY DARLING DESKIE.
RACHEL Q THE QUEK/BETRAYER OF SUJU
TAMMY THE TIMTAM
YUSEE THE GABRIEL/ LOVER AND FOLLOWER OF JB
JOEL THE ;P
Friday, April 2, 2010 @ 1:59 AM
anyeong ha sa yo everyone. here i am blogging with something going terribly wrong with my blogger. aish. anyone can help change my template for me? its getting me really.. annoyed. its making me not wanna post anymore. So like today was aprils fool. it was friggin funny, could be dubbed best aprils fool in my life. so now currently, april fooling is still working. i jsut fooled isabelle and fooling this guy. and he kinda believed so its ban xing ban yi though he knows its april fools and WE'VE NEVER TALKED SINCE LAST YEAR?! man. guys are really weird.And speaking of guys.. heesh, we had a pact thing to like pretend to sent messages out to all the guys in our contacts telling them we like them since idk whenever la. And 2 came back, now 3. it ended up so weirdly.. i never really expected it?! and they all were like. i hope its not just because its april fools and that yorue fooling me. i trust you. MY GOSH. instant guilt. i bet you. the trust word is really getting me going guilty. then today we tricked teachers for once, so first lesson was sulong, he came in and we seemed like we were making a mountain, making so much noise pretending he wasnt there. then he was desperately trying to make us keep quiet by shushing us. I just received a message from that karl. "well. i kinda had feelings for you at first" so i was thinking. okay not now. *phew. this pranking thing is funny yet its kinda like idk, mean. ): ive got so much to say today! So after that, i kept receiving weird messages. ah heck that. yu see, yu see. tskk. after recess was science, hope and grace switched like half of our people it was pretty cool but i was afraid id get scolded or something. i heard some class got detention because of this shit. LOL. and both science teachers were blur. until some time later. HAHAHAHAHA. i really wanted to see mr leow's expression man! haha then mr leow peered out of the window then we wave at him, he actually waved back! LOL. then the next teacher to get pranked was miss ng, the prank was a flop because it was so obvious== and so thats about it. During cheer, i was super lonely cos fanny dropped out, D: ARGH. then its like we went through first selections. Super scary i tell you. my leg just went numbed and i practically stood rooted to the ground. so i kinda lagged behind the dance. obviously cant get in. so heck with it.
After that, went churchh, OH, very happy to see chiam back in school! :D during mass, i got so bored i decided to disturb the young boy in front. so initially he was looking at some other directions. then i kept staring at him, he could sense it so he turned over to look at me, and all i did was to stare straight back and he kept hiding infront of his mum to shun my gaze. LOL. the same thing happened like four to five times. Also, i caught nicole in choir, it was pretty awesome. all the singing, esp when my mum's favourite song was played. maybe it was an april fools prank on her. LOL, Oh speaking of my mum, she tried to prank me on the way to church saying there's blood on my neck. i went " thanks, oh, happy aprils fools mum" HAHAHAHA. she smacked me on the shoulder. PROFL. anyway, no offence to anyone or whatever yeah! april fools everyone! (: